Today I wanted to listen to some of the songs from my playlist “Hold On (Or Not…)”. This was the playlist that predominantly played as I struggled desperately with my suicidal ideations. The playlist was designed to take me to the deepest recesses of my heart and mind trying to bring the tears of realization forth. Trying so desperately to try and find the root of what was destroying me so drastically and masterfully. Each morning on my way to work I would immerse myself in the sad songs nearly bringing myself to tears, but was never QUITE enough to break through the fog (the body does indeed fight discomfort effectively). I won’t go into the details of what finally brought about the breakthrough here as I feel that is a tale for yet another day. The key point of this chapter is just simply how all the feelings I felt while listening to this playlist today were only good feelings. A testament to me and how I’m in such a much better place now because of that time period. They are a reminder to how I was finally able to come through the dark, and into a much brighter place of peace and gratitude.